If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
