I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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