You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
