mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
