Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
