My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
