Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize