If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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