Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
