you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
