Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
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