There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
