i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish I only lived at night.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize