we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
