69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
