Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Text me some of your sweat
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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