Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
