Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
