I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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