HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
