Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
