New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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