I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
