OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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