I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
whose parrot is this?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
