i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
