I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
