You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
