Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
