so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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