Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Just cropdusted the office
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Randomize
