Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
