He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
We just shotgunned beers for America
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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