You smell like stripper and shame
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
