Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We smell like vodka and hangover
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