There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
