she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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