You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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