can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
