i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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