lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize