Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
