I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
