Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize