We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
tell me about the fingering
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