i may or may not be watching the land before time
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
