I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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