windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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