So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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