it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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