I'm drive I can fine osifer
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
