And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
