Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
