you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
