He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
