Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
