so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
