He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize