did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
