Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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