why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
wow bdsm is so cute
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
